Treasure in the Trash

I am currently going through one of, if not the hardest trial of my life. While I was in my pain, and feeling hopeless I realized that I have not been through a storm in a while (the last was two years ago when my daughter was born) and that I have been living in a position of favor since the recovery of my daughter's health. Once I realized that I too must suffer the storms and challenges of life that God makes us all go through for one reason or another, I stopped crying and started focusing my attention on him, trusting him that He knows what's best for my life, and trying to learn the necessary lessons that He is teaching.

While I am in my trash, while I am in my mess, while I am in a place that I wish no one else to be in, I found the treasure of what God wanted me to know. That gave me HOPE that if I did not go through this torture, I would not have changed for the better. I still hurt, I still feel the pain, but I see that God is still in control, and is growing me up even more in wisdom and leadership. Those who know me know that God has placed a specialness on my life, and like I am - expecting a major movement in the Lord through me (not being arrogant). But if that is true, God needed to get me ready to be more disciplined, more responsible, more conscious, more prayerful, and more faithful. This storm is my preparation for the blessing!!!

When this is over - the testimony that you will hear will have you rejoicing, and more excited about the power of Jesus!

Loosing Control

Today God said to me as clear as day, "Your job is not to fix it. Your Job is to trust me." That cleared all of my anxiety to know that God is right by my side. It gave me assurance that God was not watching my life (ride this roller coaster), but is involved in my life. As a husband, father, preacher, and business owner I realized that most of the times I am working out plans to fix problems. Most of my day is spent on coming up with ideas on how to make things better. Even my prayers at times are asking God to bless my ideas and efforts. Therefore, I realize that far too often I am trying to drive the car, and not allowing God to drive. Far too often I am busy attempting to come up with ideas to make things work smoother, but God clearly said to me, stop trying to fix it, trust me.

And what I have come to understand is that giving God total control is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Now I am not saying that I am going to stop acting and moving in the right direction, but I see that the things I can't change, I shouldn't force it, allow God to work, and He can do what I can't do. Loosing Control to God is what Paul suggest when he says to die daily. The hard part is knowing that he will work on your behalf, but when, and how is the problem.

Either way - I have lost control

Ultimate Trust

Ultimate trust in God is not easy to obtain. Job comes to mind when I think about ultimate trust. You know the story about how he lost everything he had. Well the hard part of ultimate trust is going through the storm without any control, loosing things and people that mean the world to you, and in a state of misery pain, hurt, shame, and guilt knowing that God is still in control and will work it all out in the end for your good.



God for some reason allows us to go through terrible storms. They try our faith, shake our foundation and make us want to give up. But the truth about the truth is that I know that if we can make it through the storm there is a blessing that makes it all worth it. Sometimes we have to go down in order to come up. Sometimes we have to loose in order to win. And what is our emergency is just an ordinary day to God.

So if I can keep my head up, and trust God - you can too!

Preaching to Myself

I love to preach. If I could I would preach everyday of the week. And many times while I am preaching deliverance, faith, and victory to others, I too need the same message. I need the message not because sin is so prevalent in my life, but because that one thing that will make life easier, better, and would provide me with great happiness seems is hard to obtain.

So when I am saying:

its going to be alright - I am talking to myself too.

weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning - I am talking to myself too

hold on til your change comes - Iam talking to myself too

victory is mine - I am talking to myself too

And the list goes on and on. There was a song that one great awards by the yen-yang twins called "ITS HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP" Well, I realize that it is hard out here for everybody - even the preacher.

The great thing about it though is God has never let me down, and in the past, what I thought was going to be failure - God worked it out. God is in control. So if you feel down, understand that God has you in his hands and if you are faithful to Him, it will all work out for your good (there I go again preaching to you, when I'm really preaching to myself) LOL!!!

Preparation

I thank the Lord that I decided to get my Master's in Divinity. Over the past year or so I have been hit with a lot of questions, and issues from peers that I either grew up with. These issues a lot of times are issue that I don't know that I would be able to comfortably deal with had I not been academically trained (i.e. suicide, depression, divorce, AIDS issue, etc.).

I have a few preacher friends who have not gone to any school, and I wonder how they are making it. I am not at all questioning their gift/annointing, but when things are thrown your way and folks are hanging on your word for life, I think we owe it to them to be trained academically.

THE STRUGGLE

No matter how well I may have preached... No matter how many people get happy with praise and worship... No matter how many people say that the message blessed them ...

The bottomline is I still have to go home and deal with my struggle. I wonder is the purpose to keep me humble? Whatever it is - I wish God will work it out!!!

Staying Focus

Staying busy and staying focus is two different things. We may be doing something good, and noble, but is that what God wants you focused on at this moment. The work that God gives us is at times tedious, strange, and not what we want to do, but that is what we must stay focus on. Remember only what we do for Christ will last!